As part of my new business as an Akashic Records reader, I was struggling to create an online presence. Most people in my life had no idea what “Akashic Records” meant, so I was getting used to giving a quick definition: the Akashic Records are the vibrational records of every soul’s journey, and in reading them, one can learn about life’s lessons and purpose. I was also finding that while I was able to read the journey of a soul, I couldn’t for the life of me decide on a basic image to represent my business.

I spent hours searching the internet for just the right symbol, the perfect picture, the iconic image – something that would convey my nature and my ability all in one.

I felt drawn to pictures of jaguars. Fierce. Beautiful. Powerful.

Yet I wasn’t sure many people would associate that with me.  I’m not even sure I would associate that with me.

These images brought back memories of junior high, when my bestie and I invented code names in case any of our gossipy notes were ever intercepted. Her alter ego was “Bandit,” due to her fascination with Burt Reynolds in “Smokey and the Bandit.” My pen name was “Panther.” This was for no discernable nor logical reason. It probably simply reflected my intense desire to be something wild and exotic. And possibly deadly. I grew up with 4 brothers; deadly might have been warranted.

As an adult, I still wanted to see myself as a powerful jungle animal instead of a middle-aged woman  frequently – and sadly, correctly – identified as a teacher just by her clothing.

This image search was really inciting a lot of uncomfortable self-reflection. My wardrobe was boring. My first name consisted of just one dull syllable. My parents weren’t foreign missionaries, circus daredevils, or even hippies. I was raised in the Midwest by an accountant and a housewife. It’s like I requested “Most Boring Identity” when I signed up for this lifetime. There I was, still wanting to be a sleek black jaguar, but fearing my true nature might be more of a marmot.

Never let fear choose your spirit animal.

Reading the Akashic Records is something outside of boring; in fact, it’s way outside of normal. It’s different, profound, and mystical. I needed a symbol that evoked those feelings about me and my work.

Despite my middle school history and childhood longings, a jaguar didn’t really fit. And a middle-aged marmot was definitely not the way to go. After days and hours of searching and soul searching, I chose something else entirely.

My webpage will feature a phoenix.

Categories: Thoughts

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